This blog talks mostly about working with code, cooperation, and conflict resolution.


On anger, misunderstandings, and hearing with different ears

When misunderstandings arise, it's often because messages can be heard with different ears. When anger seemingly suddenly bursts out, it could be that feelings have been bottled up for a while. → Read more


Better handling emergencies

Everyone working with a computer knows those messages that have URGENT in capital letters in the email subject. What I learnt about dealing with emergencies. → Read more


Code reviews: from nitpicking to cooperation

How can we have good code review processes without entering a 'you need to be perfect' scenario? → Read more


On Language

Language is a vehicle for ideas and concepts: we need to replace oppressive racist metaphors that are used in software today. → Read more


The right to demand change

Two women sit in an office, one asks: "What's the difference between being assertive and being aggressive?" The other replies: "Your gender." (Cartoon by Judy Horacek, 1999.)

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Breaking the chain reaction of reactions to reactions

Sometimes, in our day-to-day-interactions, communication becomes disruptive, resembling a chain of reactions to reactions to reactions. Sometimes we lose the capacity to express our ideas and feelings. Sometimes communication just gets stuck, maybe conflict breaks out. When we see these same patterns over and over again, this might be due to the ever same roles that we adopt and play. Learnt in childhood, these roles are deeply ingrained in our adult selves, and acted out as unconscious scripts. Until we notice and work on them.

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Deconstructing the term «control freak»

Control freaks. You may have called people like this. Or you may have been called one yourself. Maybe you got angry. Or, on the contrary, you felt like being a control freak is a feature, because who would notice all these little details that are not exactly perfect if not you? This post is an attempt to deconstruct the term.

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Implementing feedback into our work culture

Healthy organizations are places in which feedback is encouraged, even if it's about issues that are not easy to hear. How does this work? → Read more


Conflict as a clash of strategies and a vector for change

In this post I'll introduce a way to look at conflict using concepts of Non-Violent Communication. I'll try to explain how to go from mapping a conflict to transforming the setting in which the conflict occurs. → Read more


Conflict solving has many layers

In January I started a mediation training, which is specifically aimed at mediation and conflict in workplaces. I'd like to share some of my insights from this training in a series of posts. → Read more


Reasons for job burnout and what motivates people in their job

Burnout comes in many colours and flavours. Often, it is conceived as a weakness of the person experiencing the burnout. But what if burnout would be an indicator for a toxic workplace? → Read more